Carol like no other

This is what i get if i write at 3am with nothing else but this in mind.


Tonight my heart's dressed in white
No one hears me whining
No one but the wine i'm holding
My senses are hazed and confused
Cause I can't clear my mind from the thoughts of time
I look for memories of you that still cling tight
I know I still feel and emptyness that makes me fight
I need an excuse, I need it fast
I need one to stop the voices in my head from reveberating

This is the time i wonder what you're doing
This is the time i wait for you to come home, oh...

I wish you well
Where ever you are
I'm thinking of you right now
Will always
Coz i know you're worth more than you are

I dunno why i'm writing this song
but i guess i'm trying to fix the void
With words proliferating out of my head
Creating a rut that never really ends
A stir, which doesn't need an end.

Tonight my heart's dressed in white
My mind creates its own plights
The broken glass on the floor
Calling me a coward
Which now i don't doubt i'm
For i fear what lies ahead of us
I just need an excuse, i need it fast
To stop your picture from fading away.

I wish you well
Where ever you are
I know now what this is for
Good night and Merry Christmas.

Quotation of The Day

" True friends can only be found in hospitals and prisons", {Some spanish drama person}

Where else? :

1. Cyber cafes


Attitude:

A reminder to...

Haircuts...

What i think about 'em? It has never been the same. Haircuts, just like hair... differ in length, time, person(cutting and being cut), style? and i dunno what. I also dunno whether i like or dislike taking my parents with me to get a haircut. On one hand, i think i like having them with me when i do get a haircut cause i feel safe(prolly cause i still feel like when i was a kid). On the other, i want to be the one making the calls!!! not seeing the person cutting my hair confused!!! and ending up with a different haircut, not the want i wanted but a hybrid of what my parents want and what i want. what you get is nobody's haircut.



i wanna a haircut!!! Do I?

Regrets

17th December 2005, Rock Da World 6: Didn't like it.

King Kongs

Watched King Kong yesterday 12.30am... with uncle and cousins. I thought it would suck watching a movie that two version of it, i had watched and criticized when i was very small.But I thought wrong. We always see differently, its a part of growing. A journey where we lose parts of ourselves and gain newer parts as we go.

Note: Watched the movie again with Pala and Shalini. Thanks for sponsoring the ticket Pala!

Couldn't help thinking about how what kong(not you mun hork or mun heng) went through resembled us. We don't want to be alone yet thats where we ll end up cause we will never be understood fully. Thats why we struggle to protect what makes us feel safe knowing it might be insufficient? Is it Love. companionhood or ...? What is it?

Also: From an existentialist's point of view, Kong like us, are resposible for the consequences of the actions that we take. Kong was responsible for his own death.If not entirely, mainly.

We give it all thinking its worth something but it only ends up the opposite or probably doesnt even begin to end. We all die off in the end whether we like it or not. We are kongs inside. We are too attached to the "beauty" in this world we are blinded by it... Beauty is nothing real... Just like life.

" It wasn't the airplanes, It was beauty that killed the beast...", Mr.Denham.

I am Kong. (Actually it is sorta my surname also.)

Broken Promises

It don't matter whether
the occasion is minute or grand
It don't matter whether
the clock says its early or late
I don't care about the "yes or no"s
I don't care about pleases or donts
I only want to do what i said i would

broken promises,
Never meant to be broken,uhuh
broken promises,
Never meant to be broken,uhuh
broken promises
i hope i didn't make one

I told you was call when i didn't
I'm sure you knew i had my reasons
You probably don't care about them reasons
I don't blame cause i know i said i would

broken promises,
Never meant to be broken,uhuh
broken promises,
Never meant to be broken,uhuh
broken promises
i hope i didn't make one

i'm guilty as charged
i'm guilty for a crime
i thought would not
i thought could not commit

broken promises,
Never meant to be broken,uhuh
broken promises,
Never meant to be broken,uhuh
broken promises
i hope i didn't make one

I really like this one among most of the songs that i composed, i think i ll let you ppl who want to hear it hear it. If you do want to...

bam, bam and BAM AGAIN!!!

Bam bam… the ball hits my face not once but twice. Some say maybe more … (summary of football today)… On the way back, while walking unevenly (more than usual) this red proton wira or I think it was stopped, okay! wOkay! Let us make it more accurate: A seemingly red proton wira under the orange street lights and my minds current state of disorientation. Three indian ladies (Two adults and one teenager) or maybe A guy , a lady and a teenager…*. I dunno la! How is it important anyway?

Now that I have established my state of dazedness, let’s move on the conversation I had with those pretty people…

* - Lady on passenger seat : Adik, boleh Tanya, kat mana one stroke 25?

Vik(me…): I’m not too sure where that is, do you have a house number instead?

LOPS: Yes, we are looking for house no. 224?

Vik(still me): monologue@ I have been saying here for a while I can’t possible get it wrong@ Oh… “1/17” is there so I guess it should be down there…

LOPS: Okay, thanks.

So I continued walking(up the road la). Just before turning into the junction to my house, I noticed something familiar, yes very familiar to my ears… 224… hmmm 224!!! Oops, shit big mistake and since when 1/17 was there? I’m living on 1/17! Moreover, I used to think what Anand and Thambi did those poor people when we were in high school were bad. The irony, I tell you… staying there for 18 years and not knowing where 1/25 was. It was the route I took every time I played football, basketball, walked to Mr.Ng’s Tuition, Karate class, Mr.Arjunan’s Tuition, Pra’s house, or when I go for jogs.

I put my boots down, got scolding from my father about how I should wash my own clothes and equipments (boots) when I used them for sports instead of my mum. I didn’t asked anyone too… period! Took my phone and my wallet, walked to the shop to get soya bean. After that, I started searching for them on foot to go rectify whatever problem I had just caused.

It was so dark a merz looked like a proton… nah who am I kidding, even in absolute darkness that wouldn’t happen. Back to the point, I couldn’t tell which was what car.

Walked in really nice square-looking circles…After, getting shoo-ed away by a dog whom under normal circumstance was friendly (the black circle in the map), almost getting hit by a car and a whole minute of convincing myself to give up the search, I went backed home. I wish that they would be there so I could apologize but nah no where to be seen. So what? Go back home!…legs tired already, so “malufying”! Walk a little also like that.

I would like to apologize to the people whom I “cheated” on today(haha, not like they read my blog)

And I would like to state the obvious stop assuming!!!

Also I drew some conclusion based on my ambition list that I wrote when I was a little kid.
(I mean today) No one can tell anyway, my writing never changed much.

Just Another Mistake

Here is a song for all the mistakes i have done lately, i dunno how to upload files mp3 files on blogs yet, so this will have to do... sigh, more mistakes... (u see not my fault) >>> >>> >>>


i do it all the time
but i don't know why
I love pranks
I love double dares
havoc, trouble,
thats what i'm

It was just another mistake
I wish i didn't do that
I wonder if it was all a dream
No one can turn back time
It was just another mistake
You wish i wouldn't be there
but i'm sorry...
i wasn't born perfect
i'm sorry for who i am

I'm fixing it all alone
In a quiet cellar in my own house
I'm trying to mend us up
I'm changing myself and hoping for the best
cause i'm mistake
I only cause mishap around me

It was just another mistake
I wish i didn't do that
I wonder if it was all a dream
No one can turn back time
It was just another mistake
You wish i wouldn't be there
but i'm sorry...
i wasn't born perfect
i'm sorry for who i am

Oh no i did it again
I lost my cool and burnt everything away
It's too late now
Salvation isn't anywhere near here
Only me and my mistakes

It was just another mistake
I didn't wanna hurt you
I wonder if it was all a dream
I just wanted to help
It was just another mistake
I don't know how to fix it
but i'm sorry...
i wasn't born perfect
i'm sorry, i made a mistake